All falls down
by happy-gal2002uk
Summary: BuffyGiles fic set after season 5. Giles return to U.S then near-departure-until they both realise there feelings
1. Running Scared

Why? Why did it have to end up this way.  
  
He hadn't wanted Buffy to fight Glory, he knew that this was the only way it would end. Although he cared for Dawn he was prepared to have her life sacrificed for Buffy's. God knows, he would have given his own life if he could

but..no.. nothing was ever that simple.   
  
Looking at Buffy's body, twisted and distorted, lying on the rubble, all he could do was cry. The tears kept on falling but did not ease the pain. His Slayer, His friend, His life was lying there, lifeless.  
  
It had been a simple burial, just himself, Dawn, Xander, Willow, Tara, Anya and Spike. The priest said some prayers, nothing fancy, after all was there any point as they all knew that Buffy was in Hell and all the prayers in the world couldn't save her.  
  
He had to go back to England to meet with the Council and decided he'd stay in England. Sunnydale had to many memories. Buffy as a cheerleader, her dancing in the Bronze, the bar with the beer that turned her into a cave girl, the desecrated ground that had once stood the school in which they had shared amny evenings in training, and most of all- his apartment; the one place where she saw what he really was when Eyghon had come back. She had seen him for what he was and she still accepted him.

Poor Buffy  
  
His Buffy  
  
As he went to board the plane Xander and the gang arrived with a card they had made. It was extremly thoughtful and he nearly cried but he had already decided, he was going to England, Going to stop the bad memories, try and forget.

But..no.. nothing was ever that simple.

.........................

So what do you think? i know it's short but i wanted to give you a taster. Please review! thanx


	2. If only

I haven't recieved any reviews as yet but i am enjoying writing so i've written more! Enjoy!  
  
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They were standing in the magic Box  
  
"Pretty simple math here. We stop Glory before she can start the ritual. We still have a couple of hours, right?" Buffy questioned Giles  
  
"If my calculations are right. But Buffy-"  
  
"I don't wanna hear it." She interuppted. She turned away from the table  
  
"I understand that-" Giles went on to continue  
  
But Buffy whirled back at him,"No! No, you don't understand. We are not talking about this."  
  
"Yes, we bloody well are!" He shouted, angry at her refusal to listen to his advice.  
  
Feeling slightly guilty for raising his voice he spoke quiter "If Glory begins the ritual ... if we can't stop her..."  
  
"Come on. Say it. We're bloody well talking about this. Tell me to kill my sister." She said, finishing Gile's sentence..or at least what she thought his sentence would have been  
  
Then flashes, bits of things he could remember. Buffy confiding in him about Faith, the crucimentium, it all came to him. Then he was back in the magic box  
  
"You'll fail. You'll die. We all will." He said quitely, turning away from the table.  
  
It wasn't his own death he was worried about, nor Dawn's as hers was inevitable, nor Willow and Xander's But Buffy, his dear Buffy. He couldn't lose her, It had hurt enough to lose Jenny but no.. not Buffy, she meant to much to him.  
  
Black. Then the sun rising on her tombstone. 'Beloved sister, devoted friend' but there was something missing, another role she had played, not as a slayer, but something that meant more to him, he wasn't sure whether he loved her as a daughter or as a woman.  
  
He was back in the Magic box, this time alone with Buffy  
  
"This is how many apocalypses for us now?" She asked  
  
"Oh, uh, well... six, at least. Feels like a hundred." He said taking his glasses of to clean them   
  
"I've always stopped them. Always won."  
  
"Yes." Was all he could reply.  
  
But that time she had not one. He had killed Ben, he had done it for Buffy, he knew she couldn't take a human life.  
  
She had run up to stop the ritual but it had already began.  
  
" Tell Giles ... tell Giles I figured it out" She had told Dawn  
  
He was stupid to think she wouldn't find out. He had none for a long time that she could close the portal, but as much as he loved Dawn he would rather have her die then Buffy, Buffy meant so much to him.   
  
And then back, to her lifeless body, her blonde hair laying across the rubble, her face bruised.  
  
He shot up, in a cold sweat. It was another nightmare. He had had them since Buffy had died, flashbacks of what had happened. They all started the same, with the heated discussion in the Magic box, and ending with her dead body lying there. It wouldn't stop, it kept haunting him. If only he hadn't taken her to meet the first she'd never have realised her destiny. Every night he played the whole event in his head, what he could have done better, what he could've changed.  
  
What if he'd have killed Dawn when he had the chance, what if he had not tried to talk her into staying a slayer after the Crucimentium, what if he'd been better prepared........ But the world was filled with if's and all the if's in the world couldn't bring Buffy back 


	3. Broken Goodbyes

He was in the shower when the phone had rung. There was a message on the answering machine from Willow saying she needed to speak to him. He was sure it was just some silly worry she had, he wanted them to stand on their own two feet and was tempted not to phone back. But a gut instinct made him. When he heard Willow tell him the news he nearly dropped the phone....Buffy was alive, brought back from the dead.

He boarded the next flight out to California and got a bus to Sunnydale. He arrived at the magic box, as expected they were all there, sitting around the table, laughing and joking. Buffy must have just seen him out of the corner of her eye as she spun round, got up and ran to hug him.  
  
"Oh God, Buffy" he said, amazed to see her alive.

She closed her eyes breathing in his scent, god she'd missed him.  
  
"You're alive. You're here." He stated "And you're still .....remarkably strong." He added.

Her hugs had got harder and although he wanted to hold her forever and to never let her go, her slayer strength was too great She let go of him, apoligising  
  
"Willow told me, but I didn't really let myself believe ..." he told her.  
  
It was true, he hadn't quite believed the call, although he'd rushed to the airport the entire plane journey had been spent trying to convince himself she wasn't back. He thought if he convinced himself she wasn't back he wouldn't be disappointed if Willow was inccorrect.  
But she hadn't been, there was his beautiful Buffy standing in front of him "oh god Buffy" he had said as soon as he saw her.

She had gone to hug him. She was still very strong and he told her so. She had laughed, her eyes lighting up.  
  
They had gone back to her house and discussed what had been happening since he'd left. It had turned out that Buffy was in great debt. But that wouldn't be a problem- he could give her money. The magic Box had been very successful and had made large profits.  
  
But he realised Buffy relied on him too much. She would never learn to stand on her own two feet if he was there, that's why he had to leave, and he did. It wasn't easy but he'd gone before.  
  
"I'll step in because I can't bear to see you suffer" He had told her.  
And that was true. Any time something bad happened he would help her, he cared for her too much.

* * *

Why did he have too leave? He was her rock, her support. Now he was leaving, for good. She couldn't bear to see him leave. She was angry and their goodbye hadn't been very heartfelt, she thought if she was mad it'd make saying goodbye easier. It did,but when he had gone she had regrets. Why hadn't she convinced him to stay, why hadn't she followed him to the airport.

She sat in the Bronze, the warm tears burning as they rolled down her cheeks. Spike came over and she felt she had to escape, forget the pain. And so she kissed Spike. All her anger, all her passion was displaced onto Spike, and then the pain went away.  
  
She continued these activities with Spike, even sleeping with him. He was a way in which she could get the pain of losing her mother, of losing Giles, of being ripped out of Heaven. She didn't love him, she could never love him, he was a monster, but he was there.  
  
Things got worse and worse when Tara was shot, Willow turned evil. But her knight in shining armour was there, Giles. He had just arrived, come from ENgland to stop Willow. She was so pleased to see him.  
She had told him everything, about Dawn, willow and about Spike. Gile's reaction was unexpected. He had fell about laughing. But she still felt safe, now he was here.  
  
Here

Home


	4. Dilemma

So here ya go fourth's chapters up. i'm loving writing this but please gimme reviews, cos when i dont get any i think the stories bad and so don't write more. This is written in the form of a diary entry by Buffy.

Song-Dilemma by Nelly and Kelly Rowland. I do not own this song, or it's lyrics

* * *

Dear Diary,

I don't know how they all convinced me to go to The Bronze but they did. Well all except Giles. He said nothing, just sat there in silence. I think he was still shocked that I was here.

We all went to The Bronze. The music was loud; I wasn't really used to the noise.

I felt so alone when everyone went of to dance. It was just Giles and I left at the table.

"This takes getting used to." I said referring to the crowds and the noise.

"Are you alright?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, I'll deal. At least you're here now." I told him. I was glad to have him back. Life was so much easier when he was here, he always knew the right things to do, the right things to say.

He didn't respond.

I sat there, uncomfortable in the silence, until I was rescued by Dawn.

"Buffy, I love this song, you have to come and dance with me."

I looked at Giles, checking to see if he minded being left alone; he nodded as if to say it was o.k.

I got up and danced with Dawn. The music was fast with a strong beat and being in that crowd, dancing along with the music made me feel so alive.

Guys started to come up to me and dance with me, I danced sexily against them, I wasn't interested but being that close to another human, feeling that sexual emotion, made me feel so alive.

The music ended and when I returned to the table Giles was nowhere to be seen. I was worried; missing people in Sunnydale was not a good sign. My first instinct was to check outside, and my instinct was correct, Giles was outside pacing around.

"Ya know if ya walk in a circle 100 times the boogie man comes." I joked

He didn't look happy and I didn't know why. Usually if Giles was disappointed in me, or upset, or angry I'd know why, but he totally was wigged about something.

"Giles, what's up?" I asked

"Nothing...you run along back inside and carry on dancing with those savages." He said sarcastically

"What you're all bad and moody cos I was dancing.........no wait you're all bad and moody cos I was dancing with some guys."

I guessed he was jealous, though I don't know why. He looked at me and went back inside. I followed him and he sat back at the table. I stared at him waiting for him to talk

"Buffy I don't know what you're trying to achieve by staring at me." He scolded me

I still remained silent, the music beating around me, I was sure my heart was going as fast as the music. Then music changed into a slow R'n'B song.

Everyone began to couple up Anya and Xander, Willow and Tara, even Dawn had found a guy she goes to school with.

The silence between me and Giles was unbearable, and so I just came out with it:

"Giles do you wanna dance?"

My heart began to beat faster, I felt so stupid, I knew he'd say no, but he didn't

"Yes." He said

and that was it.

'_**No matter what I do, all I think about is you**_

_**Even when I'm with my boo, know you know I'm crazy over you**_

_**No matter what I do, all I think about is you**_

_**Even when I'm with my boo, y'know I'm crazy over you'**_

I moved close to him, I could smell his cologne 

_**Check it, check it, check it, uhh**_

_**I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me**_

_**And uhh, she got the hots for me the finest thing my hood done seen**_

_**But oh no, oh no, she gotta a man**_

_**and a son, doh'ohhh, but that's okay**_

_**Cause I, wait for my cue and just listen, play my position**_

_**Like a shortstop, pick up e'rything mami hittin**_

_**And in no time.. (no time) I..**_

_**I plan to make this wah-one mi-i-ne.. and that's for sure**_

_**Cause I, I never been the type to, break up a happy home**_

_**But uh, there's somethin bout baby girl I just can't leave alone**_

_**So tell me ma what's it gonna be? She said**_

_**(You don't know what you mean to me)'**_

and the words seemed so right. Giles had no idea what he meant to me, I'd never told him, never let him know 

_  
**No matter what I do, all I think about is you**_

_**Even when I'm with my boo, know you know I'm crazy over you**_

_**No matter what I do, all I think about is you**_

_**Even when I'm with my boo, y'know I'm crazy over you**_

As the woman's voice sung out the chorus, I knew, I knew I loved Giles. Not as a watcher but as a man. I did always think about him. If he's on patrol with me I worry for his safety, when I am home I always think 'I wonder what Giles is doing' 

_  
**Check **__**it, check it, check it, uhh**_

_**I see a lot and you look and I never say a word**_

_**I know how niggaz start actin trippin out here about they girls**_

_**And there's no way-ayy-hey, Nelly gon' fight over**_

_**no day-hey-ame.. as you can see**_

_**But I, I like your steez, your style, your whole demeanor**_

_**The way you come through and holla and swoop me in his 2-seater**_

_**Now that's gangstah-ah-ahhh..**_

_**And I got special ways to thank yah-ah-ahhh.. don't you forget it**_

_**But uh, it ain't that easy for you to pack and leave him**_

_**But uh, you and dirty got ties for different reasons**_

_**I respect that and right before I turn to leave, she said**_

_**You don't know what you mean to me**_

And that was it the song was over, as quickly as it had began, and although it had ended I stood there holding onto Giles, he didn't move until Willow came over. 

So now I know. Giles means so much to me, I can't do without him. So why? Why is he leaving? Why is he going back to England?

He says I need to think for myself, stand on my own two feet. But I cant, not without him, I already thought this earth was hell, every day my heart aches but now it aches more knowing he will be leaving soon.

Is it too late to tell him how I feel? Too late to show him I care?? Usually if I didn't know the answer to a question I'd ask Giles but this is one question I can't ask him...... I wish mom was here, she'd know exactly what to do.


End file.
